✣ Frodo ✣

'I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.'

✥ Gandalf ✥

'So do all who live to see such times; but that is not for them to decide.

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.

Bilbo was meant to find the Ring. In which case, you were also meant to have it.

And that is an encouraging thought ❧'

Some people come into the world to make a difference, to stand above the parapet and be accountable for their actions, have the strength of voice to make themselves heard and to leave a lasting legacy and a knowing that a life has been filled with the time that has been given to them.

Paul Gray – Husband, father, uncle, grandfather, chemist, musician, writer, actor, cook, gardener, researcher, lover of food and wine (and Belgium beer), advisor and.......... a jolly good bloke.

Travels to Belgium to meet up with the family were always fun. Often Paul met us at the airport and, on my husband’s first visit to join the family, he found himself in the front passenger seat, an ideal opportunity for my uncle to question him with all manner of engineering-type questions as at the time that was his job. It almost felt like an interview, but as we got to know Paul over the years, it was obvious his mind was always tuned to learning and knowledge and to have intellectual conversations with people.

The house was always bright and airy and what always struck was the sound of soprano (and alto) voices singing from way-up in the rafters of the house followed by a bellowing baritone answer from somewhere out the back. This was to become a common occurrence as Diane and Paul would practice their lines for the myriad of Gilbert & Sullivan performances they would be cast for (and were extremely good at).

Another time, Paul was half-way through preparing, from scratch, some gravlax when he suddenly decided to charge off towards the piano to hit a few keys in the other room while at the same time ‘lardy-dahing’ a tune but unwittingly, smearing salmon from his fingers all over the keys! There would then be this resounding, “Paul (pause), Paul (pause), Paul (pause)” from Diane in another room which he seemed to just ignore, make occasional grunts to and carry-on regardless!

Although not overtly choreographed, My Aunt and Uncle (Di and Paul), were in their own way, a continuing bustle of a streaming comedy act and the house at 67 Avenue des Chênes, Uccle their stage which was always full of laughter, fun and joy. Nothing was ever too much, too little or too indifferent.

When my husband’s job turned to one involving medicine, this really tapped into Paul’s great interest involving health, food and nutrition. I have never known anyone take their blood pressure as often as Paul! You would be in the middle of a serious discussion and then suddenly, without warning, out would pop the monitor and he’d take his pressure there and then, ponder the result, turn to look at you and then carry on with the conversation. 

Having moved back to the UK and into ‘Red Horse’, it enabled our visits to be more frequent and not long after Paul’s first knee replacement operation, he was explaining (in great detail) the inner workings of his new titanium body-part when he suddenly stood-up and dropped his trousers, much to Diane’s surprise! So, there he was, showing off his new scar and shuffling around with his trousers around his ankles (exposing oversized white Y-fronts!) while, incidentally, demonstrating a couple of exercises the Physiotherapist had given him. Priceless!

These funny stories, and there are many, leave an endearing legacy which, we will not forget. We all miss people in different ways but now that Paul has left and gone on his merry way, a big chapter in our life is over. Gatherings like this one today can be sombre affairs but really today is a celebration of two lives, Di and Paul, and a partnership that is physically over but the memories they made will last forever.

Michael cannot be here today but through the art of technology, will be watching virtually and remembering all of those amazing, loving times we were both fortunate to have been part of. He was a truly, lovely man. We should all relish those happy times with the people that mean a lot to us at that time. Paul once said Michael, when out somewhere for a family meal that, “when the last pea on the plate has gone, it’s gone, so enjoy and savour it while it lasts”.

We are honoured and pleased to have known and spent time in the company of my Uncle Paul Gray.

We wish you love, wherever you are Uncle Paul, and, as you are making your music,

sing it loud and sing it proud,

whether with or without your trousers on :)